Yet Another Example Of Why You Don’t Want To Be Loyal In A Job

These posts where I lay out reasons to not have a job have started to become a mini-series on their own.

In the hazy phase of being asleep and waking up, I realized that those companies from which I was fired or laid from, only 1 of them gave me advanced notice of it.

There was no “sorry” or excuse, no shame in not giving me a “heads up”, or even the decency of letting me stay for 2 weeks while I get my personal and financial life in order. Did they care to help me out when the situation changed and benefited them? No.

When the situation is flipped and you are the one that is benefiting from leaving the company and going to a new career, employers almost demand that you give them a 2 or 3 week notice while they get their “life” in order and hunt down a replacement and adjust to the change.

Have you ever gave a job notice that you were leaving?

How did they act? What did they say?

If you are like most people in this situation, they demand ask that you continue to work for the next 2-3 week while they adjust to the change and find a replacement in order to help them out. If you were to say no and leave the instant you give notice, they feel cheated and get angry. You are lead to believe that you “burnt a bridge” and made an enemy by not helping them out while you were on the way out.

I’ve even had a time where I did give a 3 week notice and the President of the company treat me like shit the last 3 weeks I was employed there; telling me I had “no tact” for leaving and that I was “unreliable” for leaving.


Think about this and ask yourself why this is fair…

  • Why do you have to give your company 2 weeks advanced notice while they can fire or lay you off without any notice at all
  • Why are you felt to be a horrible person if you don’t give them notice, but they go about their business like normal if they do it to you
  • In order to get your last paycheck, you have to make arrangements to return your parking pass, laptop, and other supplies.. but you are not allowed to go back to your desk to collect your personal belongings when you are getting fired and most times you never get 100% of your stuff back. If that happened to your employer, you wouldn’t be getting all of your last paycheck.
  • You depend on your company for a paycheck and it is probably the only paycheck you get and you also probably live paycheck to paycheck. You getting fired or laid off with no notice is almost a death sentence to you, the employee. You are the one that needs and deserves a notice more than the company, who employees several ( hundred, thousand ) people and has several clients and revenue streams and will find a way to pay someone else to replace you ( an agency, a temp. worker, promoting or demoting someone in other department to fill your role ). If anyone needs a notice, it is the employee.
  • Why you are expected to be a loyal cog in their system and work with them, but they don’t have to be loyal to you and drop you at the hint of any reason what-so-ever ( within “at will” employment states ).


You might want to give a notice on your way out. I get it.

Maybe you like your boss or you just want to feel like you did the right thing. Maybe you are scared that by burning a bridge, you might need them on the “way back down” the ladder of success.

Let me remind you though…  If your company fires you or lays you off, they don’t “like” you even though you might “like” your boss. They feel they are doing the “right thing” getting rid of you with no notice. They do not care about burning a bridge with you and they are not going to be looking for you on their way down the success ladder for help anyways later on.

Don’t be the one trying to be loyal and doing the right thing when your employer has no intentions of doing the same for you.

Make choices that benefit you personal and your family and act on them immediately without worry of what your employer thinks.

A Few More Reasons Why Working A Job Is A Losers Game

Some of you have commented that using the word “Loser” is a bit harsh in my titles.

However, sometimes it takes a radical and extreme approach to reach people and wake them up.

With this post, I am building on my topic on not being loyal to a job.

I was reading a book about improving critical thinking skills when it comes to problem solving and the book when into bias and how we all have them and that it’s natural for our brains to make shortcuts and decisions based on them.

They actually proved with scientific data and examples these biases with many studies that focused on employment and job hiring. They showed how recruiters and managers consistently rejected certain kinds of employees and potential employment candidates based on several biases and prejudices.

The setup was to take one man and dress him up as a young Wall Street type professional applying for a job in management. Then, the same man would come in later in the day, dressed the same, but in makeup as a much older man with the same experience, education, and background ( although name and position of prior jobs changed ). It was the same person, same experience, same education, same everything… except the makeup/age.

In every single job interview, the “younger” version got the job. The older version didn’t get anything.

Later the researchers came clean with each recruiter and asked them why this was; why they picked the younger person. None of the recruiters would admit age was the reason and they all  actually denied age was a factor at all. However, if its the same exact person and background and only the age/makeup was different.. this has to be the reason.

The reason I am telling you is this:

  • The next time you want a new career, a pay raise ( by job jumping ), or move to a new city and have to take a job…  how do you know you aren’t getting overlooked due to someone else’s perceived thought of you that is totally unjustified? Why should someone determine your future and income based on some false idea/look of you?
  • As you get older, the chance of taking on a new career seems pretty bleak from this info.
  • Even if you don’t take on a new career and you stay at your current job for the next 40 years, you could still be impacted by this. What if you stay at your job, but your boss or HR rep leaves and they hire in someone else that does have a bias? How does your annual raise or benefits look now in the next few years after this happens?
  • Because people have bias and people work in jobs, you are always getting a bad deal if someone else is above you or has power over you ( like your income potential ) and can judge you on appearance and not work output/value.
  • Prejudice is real and alive everywhere. You are not going to change it. You will only be a victim of it ( if you allow it ).

When you own your own business and control your income, the marketplace is now who judges you.

Sure they can still judge you on image and appearance. For example, I might not take my new car to a dirty, old, run down car wash in a bad part of town to wash it myself. That’s me having a bias.

However, there are plenty of people that do use that car wash every single day. They don’t give two shits how it looks, where it is located, if it is new, or if it doesn’t have free vacuums. People are giving the business money every day and the business owner is making money left and right.

The point?

In a job setting, you are normally 2-3 paychecks away from broke. That’s a real stat.

Also in a job setting, there is normally 1-3 people who can determine when you get hired, fired, and what raise you get. If any of those gatekeepers have a bias, you’re screwed and you will not get hired, or lose your job, or get less of a raise which all impact your personal bottom line. After that, you are 1-2 months from being broke unless you have a lot of cash saved up ( and most people don’t ).

As a business owner, the marketplace is who determines if you are hired, fired, or gets a raise. Everyone is a gatekeeper now. Many of them will have a bias and not do business with you, but many will do business with you ( see my car wash example above ) and make you very rich if your product/value is awesome.

I’d much rather have tons of gatekeepers as a business owner than 1-3 as an employee.

“Ideas Are A Dime A Dozen” Is A Lie Told By Losers

It needed to be said, so I said it.

Yep, anyone that tells you ideas are “a dime a dozen” or that execution is all that matters are the same people who can’t come up with an idea themselves and are just looking to rip you off.

Why do I go against what sooo many other people typically say? BTW, I don’t care if you disagree with me… and read the first chapter of James Altuchers Book, “The Choose Yourself Guide To Wealth”.

Let’s look at a couple of examples:

  • Two people sit around a fire. One is an idea man, the other is execution man.  Without a great idea ( one that has been planned out ), the execution guy goes around like ADD doing all kinds of stuff every minute of the day. But because he doesn’t have an idea, he never executes on any one thing, or any RIGHT thing.
  • Two people sit around a fire. One is an idea man, the other is execution man.  Neither man does anything. Idea man sits doing nothing since he doesn’t execute, but since execution man doesn’t know what to execute he also does nothing. At least idea man has an idea and can sell it, license it, or do it later when he feels like it. Execution man will never do anything possibly.
  • Ideas spark the whole process of doing. Without an idea, the Wright brothers would have never built an airplane, which many people tried before. But what if they had another idea though instead like building a better farm tractor? The idea is what sparked the need to execute.

I have found many examples where the people who say “all that matters is execution” are actually people ready and waiting to steal the next great idea you have. Want proof? Read the life story of Nicholi Tesla and how many companies became billion dollar industries off his ideas, while he died a broke man. Without his ideas, none of those companies would have been in existance.

Watch out for those that say if you ask them to sign a NDA, you can leave out the door. All they want to do is steal your great idea.

If ideas are so worthless and it’s all about execution, why did we have people preaching “People Don’t Buy Products, They Buy Better Versions Of Themselves”? Wouldn’t a better version of you be an idea itself?

Companies themselves are based on ideas. Ideas like they are the best, the fastest, the easiest choice. Who are the executioners? The employees who make min. wage and slave all week to make the idea a reality in the customers minds and life. If execution was so great and so much better, why aren’t the employees getting the lion share of the pay and revenues? You can find min. wage or even sub $45k salaried people all day long to get hired in your business to execute for you. However, if you don’t have the right idea to sell to customers, it won’t mean shit.

Also, look at all the people that say if you have a great product or service, you don’t need anything else.. that customers will just come to you. If this is true, why do you need execution at any level past the idea and min. wage workers to fulfill the service/product part? The execution doesn’t need to be great or even barely there if the product/service is so great ( which came from your great idea ).

Consider this too. We have a whole section of law devoted to trademarks and patents. Essentially if you have an “idea” and patent it, your idea is safe. Even if its a product, it is still an idea ( different from others enough to get a patent). Ideas are so golden, we have a system and law just for them. There is nothing like this for “execution” or “executioners”. If ideas are worthless, why do we have systems in place to protect them ( hint: b/c people still them ).

Execution IS needed. However, we have way too many people preaching ideas are shit and worthless and that execution is all that matters.

The problem with execution is that you can have a great idea and then have someone “execute” it and they get the execution all wrong. In that case, how great is execution?

I can have all the execution in the world ( in the form of doing or having employees doing ). If they aren’t executing the right idea though, I am just spinning my wheels.

At least with an idea, I can patent or license what I have. I can even hire out people to execute for me. Ideas attract executioners to them, executioners don’t attract ideas ( when was the last time you were around an executioner and suddenly got a brilliant idea out of nowhere? ). This is clearly in play with shows like “Shark Tank”. These “sharks” are attracted to ideas so they can invest money into them for better ROI later, which is why the show is even on the air ( if you thought otherwise, you need to re-examine the show ).

Execution needs ideas. Without it, execution is worthless. This is why ideas are worth more.

I’ve seen plenty of famous people who say they know tons of CEO’s that come up with great ideas every day, but that the only thing that matters is the execution. My question back is, if those CEO’s are so great because they can execute and they also have these great ideas all day every day, why aren’t they executing on them? Why aren’t they hiring people to execute on these ideas and building 3-4 new companies a day?

It’s because anyone can mess up execution. Anyone can execute poorly and go down the wrong path.

This is why execution isn’t better than an idea. An idea is either good or bad, but execution can get screwed up anywhere at anytime.

Idea’s can be sold, licensed, borrowed, improved on, giving to multiple executors, and worked on later.. giving the idea holder tons of options. Execution can not even touch this.

Culture, Failing Business, & Change

This isn’t a post about the “good old days”.

However, there is a lot to be said about culture, business, and expectations 20 years ago compared to today.

Take for example a recent dinner I had with my family below:

  • We go to a fairly nice restaurant that is popular and has great food on a weekend night.
  • I order a meal I always order and have memorized.
  • Our food comes. Everyone’s order is correct but mine.
  • I send my food back.
  • Everyone in my family gets done eating before I get my corrected meal.
  • I have to box up my meal when it comes and leave with an empty stomach as everyone else is waiting to go.

I didn’t have a terrible time, but I also didn’t have a great time or an experience I was expecting. Not only was I hungry when I left, but everyone had an awkward feeling eating in front of me while I had nothing. Add to the fact that I had to pay full price plus a tip, I ended up paying over $100 for something I could have just had at home.

If I roll back the memories to 20 years ago though, even places like McDonalds would break their neck to offer you free apple pies or extra fries if you had to wait in line more than a few minutes to get your meal.

Don’t get me wrong. The cost of the meal or me expecting something for free is not what this post is about.

Even though the manager came around to ask me if everything was alright, he didn’t make my experience “over the top”. He did make sure my meal was correctly re-made the second time around, but that was it. However, making my meal correctly the second time put me into a position where now everyone feels awkward eating in front of me and ultimately lead to me boxing up my meal without eating it.. so did him just “ensuring” my meal was made correctly the second time around really help me in any way or make my dining experience better or comfortable?  NO.

What would have been the correct thing for him to do?  I don’t know, but doing nothing else sure isn’t the answer.

I wasn’t looking for a free meal, but considering there isn’t really anything else he could have done to make my experience better the manager could have done a few different things:

  • Gave me a ticket/card for a free meal NEXT time I came in with preferred star treatment
  • Gave me a discount on current bill
  • Offered us a free desert

The manager couldn’t have made my food came out faster or prevented my family from eating ahead of me. Giving something up and owning the situation would have been the only thing he could have done and he didn’t do it.

This wasn’t true 20 years ago. If you had a bad experience in a store or restaurant, people owned the situation and made it up to you to help renew your faith that it would be better next time you came to their business.

This isn’t an isolated experience.

Me and my wife routinely run into issues like this at all kinds of business almost daily. It’s shocking the amount of “care less” attitude business owners and employees have with their customers. It’s almost like I the customer should be pleased and honored that I am in YOUR business.

Listen, I could be that rude customer that goes to the manager and makes a huge fit about the issue and demand a refund or free meal. However, I feel that not only is that rude but also embarrassing. I also feel that it is not the customers job to ask and demand the situation be made better when the owner or manager already knows about the situation themselves. It is not the customers job to set expectations in the transaction.

At SERPWoo, we had an outage caused by one of our datacenter partners. We knew of the outage and worked hard to limit the experience to our customers ( free and paid ). When things went to hell in a handbasket, we could have done what everyone else does and simply not informed anyone, ignored help desk tickets and played it off like nothing.

That doesn’t cut it though. Customers vote with their mouth ( not always ) AND their feet ( always ).

When I have a bad experience somewhere and it’s not rectified unless I demand the correct solution, that only leaves a bad taste in my mouth and a negative connection in my mind to your place of business. Next time I am out and about, I will probably tell myself I don’t really need to go to your business and instead start frequenting your competitor.

So when SERPWoo had that horrible experience that caused our customers to not be able to log into their accounts, we gave everyone an upgrade ( for free ) for the troubles.

We didn’t get shit from our datacenter though. We ate the costs, the embarrassment, and owned the situation first hand.


Because keeping our current customers happy and positive is more important than taking the easy road that everyone else is on.

We got tons of emails, tweets, and help desk tickets praising us. People who were upset about the outage and slammed us on social media.. were now our biggest fans and brand evangelists all within a few hours time. No joke.

This post is about people owning the situation and making it right.

Making it right isn’t just about correcting the immediate need of what is wrong. It’s also about setting up the idea that what happened is out of the ordinary and won’t happen again. It’s setting the expectation up in the customers mind that in the future, when you come here, we will make it right for you.

When you don’t do this, you set up in MY mind that yeah.. you will give me a new steak when it’s cooked wrong, but what if I come in tomorrow and the steak is wrong again and I have to leave hungry with the correct steak AGAIN? I don’t go to restaurants to leave hungry and you haven’t put in my mind that you took it serious enough to make sure it WON’T happen again.

Instead, I will just stay home or visit another place to dine.

Put a little extra effort into owning the situation and setting up expectations in the customers mind and see how easy it is to win customers over. Todays poor customer service culture and “it’s all about me/profits” attitude is making it ridiculously easy to dominate whole markets at the moment. This attitude in people, culture, and business is what I think has a lot to do with one of my prior posts “There Is No Need To Be Loyal In A Job” and why business attitude has changed in the last 40 years.

Choose People Wisely

There is a lot to be said about who you choose to be in your life.  From a spouse, friend, or even co-worker. Everyone is nice to you when they want something. Everyone is nice to you ( most times ) when they first meet you.

Judge people based on actions, not by anything else and you will be rewarded of who you allow to be a part of your life.

Judging based on actions, by default, takes a long time. This time will allow you plenty of opportunity to correctly determine who should be in your life.

Determining the true intentions and character of a person based on their actions ( and not what you think, others think, what they say, where they live, their job, etc ) will not only set up the right expectations of this person to yourself, but give you insight to who this person really is.

Everything else is fast ( what people say, what you think/feel ), but actions take time.

By studying someones actions for a few years, I was able to determine they were a fraud in the online marketing community. The things they said *seemed* to add up, but their actions on social media and their blog ( and conversations they had with me ) just didn’t add up. This person went on to pull the wool over many other people and scammed them out of thousands of dollars each, to the total tune of almost $1M total. What’s sad is, most of these people do not even realize they have been scammed/lied to.  It’s just all a part of the “fake it till you make it” ploy that many people will present to you, but few can actually follow up on.

I wasn’t fooled and I even prevented a few other people from wasting their time and money on what they were offering. Other people didn’t study this person’s actions for a period of time like I had, they simply went by what other people told them and made them believe.

Study people’s actions first. Everything else is bullshit.

There Is No Need To Be Loyal In A Job

Ok, I admit.. maybe your dreams can be filled by staying loyal and working for someone else. However, this probably only applies to less than 1% of the population. For most people, their dreams and goals are much higher and reaching those can not be done by being limited to being loyal to 1 job.

There are too many obstacles to being employed that stunt you from growing, so why be loyal?

Let me list just a few actual scenarios:

  • You’ve been in your position for 3 years. You were told multiple times you would be moving up and advancing into management. One day, your boss leaves the company and a month later so does his boss. The CEO or HR rep hires in outsiders to replace both positions and the new hires who are now your bosses  know nothing of you and the promises made to you and you don’t get your promotion you waited 3 years for.
  • You have been doing your job for 20 years but no one in the company listens to you about mistakes the company is making or your suggestions on how to better the processes and systems within the company. They keep doing what the “new people” they hired suggest and 6 months later those things all fail with no corrections. There you are thinking, “hey.. I told you so for 20 years”.. but you can’t say that or else you will get fired.
  • Whenever the company needs to pivot and change direction and requires you to give your all and be flexible based on its needs, situations, and constantly changing demands.. they expect you to follow suit and help out. How many times is your company willing and able to do the same for you each time you have changing demands day by day and special situations that need flexibility from them on demand? Even if you work for a flexible company, I’d be willing to bet you have to be more flexible for them, then they are to you. If your company does give you flexibility, is it like pulling teeth? What if you acted that way to them?
  • You spearhead new budget allocations within your department for skills training that include attending much-needed conferences, workshops, new tools, webinars, and even reimbursement for college. Most people in your department take advantage of this and/or abuse it. You however finally put in your request and are told that “only 2 members” can participate in an event at any one time and there is no money left for you to attend anything this year.
  • You’re a rockstar and your efforts alone accelerate the companys growth for the year. One day while checking out LinkedIn you see your boss list 90% of the accomplishments that you pulled off by yourself as his own. When you confront them about it, their response is “well I’m your manager.. anything you do great is because I manage you and everything you do”. They never once got their hands dirty in it and they never once helped, but they get to take credit for it.
  • After putting years of sweat and loyalty into a company to help it grow, the owner sells it for a profit and retires. The new owners run it into the ground in 6 months and the company loses a lot of money and has to lay you off. The best you get from all that work and loyalty is a 2 weeks severance pay. You put in your dues, but someone else higher than you or in another department fucked up and now you’re out of a job and not them.
  • You realize in a few months you will need to change your work schedule and ask your boss if you can work from home 3 days a week. He agrees, but only if the numbers you produce stay solid or improve. For 4 months you work your ass off to explode sales or push your numbers over the top. When the day comes you need those remote hours, you bring it up to your boss and he says, “yeah I can give you 1  day from home a week”. That’s not good enough for you as that wasn’t what was verbally agreed and not what you need. When pressed, your boss doesn’t budge. You put in all that work for nothing. Worse yet, all that busting ass and late night work and triple digit sales are now the normal and expected from you daily.
  • You have more experience in your field than anyone else at the job. The boss loves to hire in 18 year olds with the lure of commissions and % of revenue increases for anything they help sell because he knows he can use this to get away with paying them only minimal wage upfront and telling them their income is unlimited as long as they produce numbers.  You find yourself being asked to train these people all day long for months on end only to realize  that once these low-wage workers can do the job 80% as good as you with all your teachings, the boss fires you so he can save money and run the business with kids who know almost everything you know now.
  • You work 40-50 years and retire. You get a small party with cake and a gold watch as parting gifts. Your pension ( if you were lucky enough to have worked at a company that offered this years ago ) pays out well for a few years into retirement until someone at the company embezzles millions of dollars and now your pension plan closes down and you have to live on only social security.
  • You stay at a job for 4 years. You are a star employee and get a 2% raise each year. You started at $25,ooo and now make around $27,000 by being a star employee and giving them 4 years of your life. Did you know your co-worker that does the same job as you but was just newly hired last year got a starting salary of $33,000? Neither of you have a degree or extra skills. You’re equal in everything except pay and you have worked there longer with your “loyalty”.  You might disagree with me, but companies are readily more eager to pay a new hire that they know NOTHING about more money to get them hired in, than to pay you more money to keep you.  If you don’t believe me, then start job jumping every 2 years to a new company and see how long it takes you to double your salary. It only took me 3 years to do it myself. Advancements in pay and benefits come much faster to those that seek them ( the job jumper ) , than those that wait for them ( the loyalist ).
  • You company offers awesome time off benefits, all in the effort to please its employees. They give you almost 5 weeks vacation when you start ( granted this time has sick and personal time bundled into it as vacation, or more commonly know as PTO – paid time off ). You start planning vacations in the summer with your wife and kids only to find out after you put in your request, that going on a 3 week vacation to Maui is not going to happen with your job. Your employer states things like, “Marsha has already planned time off during your request and we can’t have more than 2 people off in the same department.” or, “No one can fill your spot for 3 weeks, we are short on staff.” and even worse, “3 weeks it too long for you not to being working on your accounts, you can leave for 3 weeks if you work daily on the accounts for a few hours”. Work on my vacation? Huh? Why even use up my vacation hours if I am going to work? Why even have them? It’s such a joke to offer your employees vacation hours if they have to jump through hoops or settle for less marginal “staycations” for 4 days instead of doing what they want on the time they earned and was promised.
  • Your boss who is always on you about covering other people’s work while they are on vacation is told by their boss to cover your work while you finally go on a vacation yourself. Halfway through your vacation, you see critical issues with the work they are suppose to be covering, because they are not covering it. If it wasn’t for you working through your vacation, the company would have been over budget on spending in certain areas. Also, you are told to cover other people’s work so they can enjoy their vacation, but every vacation you ever took with the company the last 3 years… you had to work through your own vacations and still chew up your vacation time for it. When do you ever escape “work” if even not during vacations, holidays, and weekends?
  • Speaking about vacations, what good are they if you actually do get to go on one and “unplug” from work and not give 2 shits about work, only to come back and realize that for the 2 weeks you were gone.. no one did anything for you while you were gone. What would normally be a “routine work day” once you finally get back in the office is now “I have to do 2 weeks worth of work over the course of the next 3 days” and dig yourself out of a 100 foot hole. Who wants to deal with that stress once they get back? What good was the vacation if when you immediately return, you are under 100x more stress? Those next 3 days you are digging yourself out of a hole require a vacation of their own.
  • If you get fired or laid off, the company doesn’t care about you and your bills, mortgage, kid’s braces, or future goals. When they feel it’s time to kick you out for whatever reason, they aren’t considering how sad you will feel or that you just made plans to buy a new house in 3 months. Nope, they are not considering you and yours.


I could list a lot more, but I think you can see where I am going.

These examples above are not stories I made up or theories I have. I have actually personally witnessed all of the above!

It just doesn’t make sense in this day and age to give your all to any one single employer or job as the odds are in favor of something like one of the above happening to you than not.

So what’s the solution? Keep jumping from job to job until you find the one that fits just you. For me, I jumped around until I found one that ultimately gave me flexibility to work from home ( and home to me could be a hotel in San Diego for 3 weeks ) and gave me the salary I felt that I commanded from my experience and lifestyle.

Ultimately, even that job didn’t meet my growing needs. However, I was still growing and getting more from each job jump. I wasn’t waiting for something to fall into my lap that was never coming.

In the end, working for myself has proved the best situation.

Don’t Compare Your Life To Someone Else’s Highlight Reel

As a marketer, it’s hard to give up Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest and many other social media outlets. I made the decision to give them up years ago and to only randomly log on when I had to ( for business reasons ) or to check in on family every now and then.

Part of the reason I gave them up was because they were a serious time sink that added nothing to my business bottom end. I would find myself getting with each new shiny object as the page scrolled down and new images or stories would pop into view.

The other reason was, I realized that I started comparing my life to others. I also watched this happen to other close people around me like my children and wife.. and even my in-laws.

It’s a funny thing when people you live start mentioning things like, “so and so just got a new pool, why don’t we have a pool” or “Donald and his wife are flying to Cancun, why haven’t we taken our vacation yet”. While those are small examples, the more impactful ones come when people start comparing their lives in total to others and start to think that what they see on Instagram and Facebook is someone’s awesome life that they don’t have.

No one is going to post their worst on the Internet. You aren’t going to see it. Everyone does want to brag about when something good or awesome happens to them and that’s when you see it on social media.

Also, did you know there are people out there that specifically sit around and plan their day out with what they are going to place on Facebook and even go as far to lie and fake post about stuff they did that day?

A chronic gambler will brag and gloat to you each time he wins, but you won’t hear a peep out of them for all the times they lose.

Remember, don’t compare your life to someone else’s highlight reel. Sometimes those highlight reels are made up and fake too.

Let “Yourself” Lead You In All Things

Note: This post is outside the talk of religion. Other than your religious views, you should let your “self” lead you.

I am not sure what they call the feeling of knowing something before you validate it, but that has happened to me all my life.

  • I was always against college and school in general.
  • I was always against common financial advice.
  • I was always against being employed.
  • I was always against multi-tasking.
  • I was always against most organized religion.
  • Just about anything that was widely accepted or thought of, I questioned until I found a better alternative.

It wasn’t until years later ( sometimes decades ) that I would find someone else that validated my ideas. Either through a book, documentary, news ( TV or paper ) or some other outlet.

During the time I had the idea and it got validated, I struggled with the thought of “maybe I have this all wrong” and “maybe everyone else is right”. It was horrible, I doubted myself constantly and questioned everything. Sure those things worked for me, but other people would say I was stupid or doing things backwards.. all because they didn’t understand it like I did. I did have times where my way of doing things didn’t work 100% and I would be left thinking in the middle of my failure that if I had done things the “normal” way, that I wouldn’t have failure.

That’s the crazy thing though. When I decided to abandon myself and live like a sheep and follow the herd, I saw that their way of doing things also had hiccups, gotchas, and failed a lot too.

Failure comes no matter what/how/where/when/who.

The worst thing that came from all of this was a looming and hard-to-break doubt in all things I do. During that time I gave up on my views and caved in to live like others, I basically told myself I was a failure and stupid for doing things outside the box. The things I did failed and I was dumb for it. These are things I told myself and lived with for years. It wasn’t until I saw that my “new life” also failed that I regretted ever abandoning my ways, my views, and myself.

So I started doing things my way again. I figured that no matter what life I lived, I was going to experience failure so I might as well do things my way anyways.

Life was much easier for me making things fit around me, instead of me fitting around it.

As the years passed on, I found instances where people validated what I had been thinking all along about many different ideas and topics I had that I thought were original to me and me only. What a relief that was.

While I hate the fact I doubted myself and I struggle with overcoming the fact I told myself for years I was a failure, I am glad I went through it so I can talk to others that might be going down the same path.

Trust me, it is always better to be a free-thinker and be wrong, than to be a sheep who blindly doesn’t even know they are wrong.

Perfectionism Is Actually A Fear Of Failure

I’ve struggled with perfectionism for a long time.

It wasn’t until today that I really thought about why and where it came from in my life.

When I really think about why I feel the need to “prefect” something, I came to realize that what I am actually trying to do is create no room for errors or failures.

I remember in 3rd grade I would write a report in cursive and be 80% done with the report and end up throwing it away ( instead of erasing my mistakes ) and start all over. These would be reports/essays that would be 3 pages long which is a huge feat for a 3rd grader.

I felt that erasing my errors wasn’t a perfect paper, so each time I made a mistake I would just start completely over. I recall doing this at least 10 times with 1 such paper. Multiple that with 5 school days a week and I was doing this every day and you see a lot of wasted time just to get a good grade on a paper that ultimately did what in my life? lol

My reasoning? I wanted that perfect A+ on my paper. Anything else would have meant I made an error or failed.

Flash forward 3 decades and I still find myself wanting to lay the perfect row of tiles in my shower floor, or wanting to build the perfect Adwords campaigns for my clients so they don’t experience loss of ROI. Anything less than perfect would show my flaws, errors, or deem the campaign ( and shower tiles ) a failed project.

This nasty habit also got me into reading forums, books, taking seminars, downloading webinars and courses, and other odd shit in that quest to find the perfect source of information that would help me launch and keep these “perfect” error-free campaigns and companies. I thought that if I just looked at what other people did and copy them, I could avoid causing errors and failures.. all in that quest of perfectionism.

Wasting my time trying to perfect my knowledge of all things by reading books, forum posts, and webinars lead to less time actually building my company and campaigns. I also tended to fall into the same failure traps of the people I tried to emulate ( oh, they tell you all their success stories, but never their failures BTW ). Trying to write the perfect code base for some scripts and automation also took up a bunch of time that could have been spent on other things.

The same problem comes up for “waiting for the perfect moment or timing”. People tell themselves, “I’ll wait until Monday when the weather is better” or “I’ll wait until the economy picks up”. People keep waiting for that perfect moment or time to do something and all they do is delay the fact they might fail.

The tricky part?

You will always fail at something. Something done at 80% your expectations is better than something you’re still waiting to do and delaying on for days/weeks/months/years and eventually passes you by.

The Impact Of Your Decisions Are Larger Than You Think

Have you ever thought about the decisions you make in life and what they truly do to you?

I was talking to a friend one day about an employer we both used to be employed at. We talked about the past, what happened after he left, and what was going on currently.

It’s odd to think about the decisions poor managers made as a whole to bring that company to mediocrity. These same decisions could be ones you are making in your life and you just do not know it yet.

Sure we all know about the guy that one day makes a poor decision to hang around the wrong friends, get involved in drugs, find himself broke and homeless, to seeing himself robbing people and banks for drug money, to ultimately landing in jail. While in jail ( or in the ICU ), he finally realizes that the choice to hang around the wrong friends is why he is where he is today.

That’s an easy connection to make based on the above.

What’s sad is most people do not see the more subtle issues that come from poor decision making.

Below are some examples:

  • You run a company and place people whom you trust as managers, directors, and VPs to handle the day to day work. Those people hire and fire people, some of which are true superstars in their field. Since most of the directors and VPs don’t get their hands dirty with the day to day work and feel that everything can be systematized, they don’t understand the rockstar employee and their value to the company. They also tend to not understand what is really going in day to day in the space too. Those superstar employees one day quit over disagreements with their director or VP about how best to serve the company as they have been pushing for XYZ methods and processes while the VP or director pushes for ABC. 2 years later after the rockstar employees quit, it comes out that process ABC was horrible and needs to be ditched in favor of XYZ. No on goes back and says, “the rockstars were right all along and we as a company could be 400% larger than we are today if we listened to them”. They also never go back and fire the original director or VP for making a terrible decision of picking ABC or for letting the superstar go. In the process, your company has been mediocre for 2 years now. Since the process of making bad decisions hasn’t been addressed or fixed, your company will probably always remain this way.
  • Because you let other people influence your life and decisions ( your spouse, kids, co-workers, television ads, etc ), you never have time to be a free thinker and think about who you really are and what you wanna do. You are so busy buying material things that you get caught up in debt that there is no other solution for you but to keep climbing the corporate ladder in the same city you grew up in as your kids are in school there and you don’t wanna pull them out. You live the rest of your life not able to quit your job over debt or move to another city out of guilt for your kids education and “friends” they made. Your life essentially is controlled by other influences and becomes mediocre. You never really relate the decision to be influenced by others ( ads on TV, friends, etc ) to buy that new Honda Accord and mortgaging that 3,300 sq ft house to living a mediocre life, but that’s what it comes down to really. Let’s not get into the whole idea that society pushes our young people into college and get enslaved to $100k worth of debt in a weak job economy and what that does to them…

The above are just 2 examples.

I might go into later in another blog post, but sit back and think about the life you have and what decisions you made that put you where you are today. Can you spot even the subtle day to day decisions you make that dictate where you are in life right now?